A Strategy on How Female Content Creators Can Curb a Man’s Perception of Their Social Media in terms of Sexuality

C.R. Pattison
9 min readSep 3, 2020
Photo by Paul Biñas on Unsplash

So you’re a recording artist or a content creator from youtube, and one day you realize there is a lot of men on your social media who look like they are there for an alternative reason. Here are some things to think about in your next post or video that might help with these weirdo accounts that follow you.

Example A: less of this.

Photo by Igor Starkov on Unsplash
Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

(I’m not saying that posting things like this is terrible, its not, but it portrays a different image than the one in Example B). These images, in Example A, don’t control the narrative but more feel controlled.

Example B: more of this.

(These images are something to strive for). These images control the narrative; they represent the artist taking control of their ideals.

What’s the difference?

Why are they different? Why use more of Example B than Example A? Because of control.

What control? The control of a narrative, in this case, the story of Sexuality. Sexuality is a fun and powerful expression of one’s self but not when it is perceived wrong, i.e., being controlled by outward forces like men. This precipitation of control is very widespread in American society and can affect the outer perception of the audience digesting your content. Getting the effect that many female artists deal with within the industry. For women in the media, there are two perceptions. One being, controlled by male ideals, and the other being for the liberation of one’s self, we want the latter. Now even if the artist controls photos in Example A for their self-expression, it might not be what the audience will see.

The photos in Example A can be perceived as for the ideal benefit of men “eye candy” for the lack of better term. At the same time, the photos in Example B can be perceived as a natural and powerful expression of sexual liberation for the benefit of the artist and women in general. This gives the perception of control over your Sexuality for your interest and yours alone. The final piece is the associated captions, Captions like: “I need a bae-cation” or “Text me when you get this” can be taken very differently to both men and women. For women, it can look like the desire or need of a relationship, the possible hope for a man (in heterosexual environments, which is usually perceived unless otherwise specified), and can greaten the toxic normative belief that women need be with a man to be something or have worth.

To clarify, I am not by any means saying that these photos ultimately say this, but they can have a very influential perception of women from this. Mostly from a subconscious level, due to the toxic heterosexual normative society we live in, which could lead women to feel that your social media is not catering to women and mostly to a male benefit.

The example “A” images have a way of creating “an open perception” (Appealing to “The Male Gaze”) to men as in “open” or “Available.” This concept displays a form of serving for their benefit or could see as pass time eye candy, which could cause them to follow you purely and solely for your perceived sexual image and not because of your story or your music.

While Example B is a self-built controlled narrative of you and your Sexuality for your desires of self-expression in a more artistic fashion, to support you and your goal of equal societal worth and be an example for women in the world.

To put what I am saying in a real-world picture. Here are some real-world manifestations of those effect of the image that comes from this societal tragedy. It happens because of these central concepts: “The Victorious Secret Tragedy,” and “The Male Gaze.”

Photo by Alexander Andrews on Unsplash

“The Male Gaze”

  • “In feminist theory, the male gaze is the act of depicting women and the world, in the visual arts and literature, from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the male viewer.”

Unfortunately, this “act of depicting” can come from women too because of the consistent pressure from a societal ideal of what women need or want, which can cause women to act in that depicting due to the subconscious theories of attachment (attachment theory) and behavioral confirmation.

(Attachment theory is a psychological, evolutionary, and ethological theory concerning relationships between humans. likewise, Behavioral confirmation is a type of self-fulfilling prophecy whereby people’s social expectations lead them to behave in ways that cause others to confirm their expectations.)

Photo by Wilhelm Gunkel on Unsplash

The Victorious Secret Tragedy”

The Victorious Secret Tragedy, (a term I coined myself) depicts the tragic transformation of women’s Sexuality that originated from a seemingly (but probably not) well-meaning man who wanted to have women’s husband feel more comfortable gifting their spouse lingerie. Which morphed into a toxic retail giant that notoriously helped change the way society views women and their Sexuality, by building the damaging societal ideal of a woman being an objective for men. Why? Because the store which initially designed to cater to men and what men would want to see in their heterosexual spouses, ultimately depriving women of their Sexuality and or sexual desires. Furthermore, because it was designed for husbands to dress their wives, this concept is the genesis of the subconscious attraction of a woman to tailor their Sexuality to that of a man’s ideal. They were causing a woman to feel like they can only express their Sexuality for a man, because of a false perception that “man created or gave their sexuality” that brands like “victorious secret” and others created.

Why is this important? Well, because this tragedy created an interesting split in marketing. The Victorious Secret’s parent company created the other lingerie brand “PINK.” why is that interesting? Well, because of perceptions. Victorious become synonymous with women’s Sexuality for the male desire while PINK reclaimed a woman’s Sexuality for herself, for her benefit, not a man’s. Now lingerie is one thing but now has two perceptions. (yes other items have that but not really in term of Sexuality). The photos in “Example B” are more like PINK than Victorious secret. The images in “Example B” look and can mostly be perceived for her benefit and no one else’s, which is what you want, if you’re going to decrease the rate of men (primarily pervy men) following you just because of how you look.

Shoot for implicitly for things you want, instead of being explicit

What do I mean by this? Do I say curb sexuality, or don’t be sexually explicit? No, not at all, I mean, be perceptually implicit. Be implicit that your Sexuality is to be for you and to empower other women. What is the implicit perception? Well, First, “Explicit perception refers to the person’s conscious perception of some object or event in the current stimulus environment.” according to “Implicit Perception” by John Kihlstrom. “Explicit perception tasks involve sensory detection or require the subjects to describe the form, color, distance, behavior, or identity of some object.” So then what is Implicit? Well, to further reference the article (it’s a long quote, so bear with me). Implicit perception, “By contrast, implicit perception is demonstrated by any change in experience, thought, or action that is attributable to some event in the current stimulus field, even in the absence of conscious perception of that event. Implicit perception tasks do not necessarily refer to objects or events in the current stimulus environment and do not require the subject to perceive any object, qua object, at all.”

What does any of this mean for you and your photos? Well, Be implicit that your Sexuality is to be for you and to empower other women, instead of having it look inherent for men. Don’t be explicit with your Sexuality being for you and to empower other women. Wait why? Well, because the goal is to curbs a man’s initial (implicit) perception of who the photo is to be catered to. Because unfortunately, most men (straight or LGBTQA+) have bought into this society’s false understanding of a woman and her Sexuality, as I mentioned earlier in this article. So then why should you be implicit that your Sexuality is for you, and to empower people instead of explicit. Well, because again, you’re trying to curbs a man’s perception, and not make men feel excluded. When you make it explicit, most men feel excluded, and you don’t want that. Because you want them not because of your Sexuality, but for you as a person and a recording artist, so think it like this: curb, not shew away. Because most men (most pervy men) who follow you for your Sexuality will not have your photos subconsciously match their Implicit or explicit intentions.

Expressing your explicit Sexuality is not harmful and can be a great and compelling expression. Still, I am more saying think about what your goal is. If we create a culture where a woman’s Sexuality can be implicitly for a woman’s benefit and to empower other women, then the explicit will become a natural form of expression that will eventually be perceived to empower women as well.

This Issue is by no means a woman’s fault, and in theory, not necessarily men’s error either.

Photo by Francisco De Legarreta C. on Unsplash

So then who’s fault is it? Well, biology but, most importantly, an evolution change in our brains, to evaluate the situations at hand. Our Brains do this is in person or online and can affect how we perceive the post that content creators make and post. This evolution morphed the way our brains subconsciously cherry-pick and observe the body language people around us give off. This is even true online — in posts, videos, or Instagram stories. So what does this have to do with how men perceive women online? A lot. This evolutionary change helps our brains evaluate if the body language that others give off fits into three categories — friend, foe, or a potential sexual partner, at least according to body Langauge expert Mark Bowden in his TedTalk. According to Bowden, the thing we do, and what we post can affect a person’s perception of if we are an ideal in the sexual partner category. So ideally, the best thing to do to curb a man’s opinion would be to send all the right signals. Send signals that can only be received as friend signals, not as a foe or a potential sexual partner, and these two videos might help.

So if you keep all of these concepts in mind in the next few post, you might be able to find yourself with fewer people or men who are following your content because of how you look; and hopefully follow you for your message.



C.R. Pattison

Bay Area-based writer and content creator. Focusing on media and politics